Eternal Dusk
by kirvana
Summary: Love blossoms on the cusp of Renesmee's transformation into an immortal. Can Jacob and Renesmee find a place of their own before the world disrupts around them?


Renesmee and Jacob

Hello, I'm Renesmee. Sorry for the short introduction. I never quite know how to present myself. My story is rather twisted.

Hmm...What is my story? This half-life, in between the worlds of darkness and light, my eternal destiny. I'm the first and last of my kind. My grasp quickly gaining towards my sight. I'm vampire. I'm human. I walk down the misty roads of Forks and search for something I can't find...myself

My parents, hiding from their human lives, are random visitors to my double life. I understand why they couldn't stay. How could they explain having a teenage daughter who looks the same age as them? Good genetics? Ha. Nevertheless, it's the way it has to be. And it's the way I live my life, with Jacob and Billy Black as an abandoned child. I cover my life in mystery to protect my mother and father. Nobody knows where I'm from or why I'm here. I'm 16, almost turning 17, and as my life begins to slow down to eternal youth I strive to see more of the world before I hide in it.

I know I'm attractive. You can't be born of a vampire and not expect to have the tempting allure they so easily capture. However, my mother's former human self is trapped in me. I'm a little uneasy on my feet. I have her eyes. Sometimes I hate them. A constant reminder staring back at me of what I'll never have...a life.

Every minute I try to escape. I love motorcycles, a bad habit given to me by Jacob. When I get on my chopper, I fly. My greatest escape is roaming through the winding roads of Forks on my bike with my long brunette hair wisping behind me; the cool, misty air flowing through me as I escape into the wilderness. Sometimes it seems I'm never out of my leather jacket and ratty jeans. No tattoos though, don't want anything on my body for the rest of my eternal life. My classmates cleverly dubbed me "biker girl."

Speaking of unbearable adolescents, it's my senior year and I'm about to graduate high school. I don't have many friends. Mike's little brother Freddy stops by my locker on occasion. I have too much of a temper and I'm always in fights, a great quality from my father. I can't count the times I've been in detention. But the useless anger, the meaningless gossip, a waste of their short...human lives. And it's my final year with them, and I hate them for their mindlessness, yet I love them for who they are.

Then one day it started to unravel. I was sitting in class, mindlessly staring out the window. Mr. Ravelli, the new English teacher, is raving on about The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. Mr. Ravelli is rambling over and over again the symbolism of Gregor Samsa's transformation. He goes through the pages furiously.

"Imagine, awakening to this new body, completely foreign to you. But you're mind is the same." He said whilst my peers stared blankly into their own jaded thoughts.

"Just. Think!" He said. "You wake up one day and you're a cockroach! But you still feel like you were the person you were yesterday, going to school, meeting with friends. But how? How would that be possible now? What is it when something so horrible is happening that you can't believe it's happening, but it is?"

"Kafkaesque." I mused.

"Thank you, Ms. Smith, for paying attention. You are exactly right. Kafkaesque! Any examples from your peers."

"Puberty!" Gaffed Tim Schwindler, local class jock, yet amazingly smart. His crowd laughed. Then the school secretary MS. Preniger walked in.

"Mr. Ravelli, Miss Cullen is needed in the principal's office." She smirks.

"Again." I sigh.

"It's always the quiet one." Mr. Ravelli laughed. I smiled and followed Ms. Preniger to the principal's office. She hurried her pace to stay clear of me. I'm always making people feel uneasy. As soon as we got to the office she found safety behind the front desk.

"Ms. Cullen," she said, "Jacob Black called and said you were needed home right away. I need you to sign this pass please.

"Oh, right." I said. I signed the pass and dashed out the halls. My parents were home, the first time in two months.

I made it home in record time. Jacob, my mom Bella and father Edward were waiting on the front porch of the Black household. Dad and Jacob were exchanging stories, presumably about the Volturri. I stared at my mom. The smile on her face was immense.

"Renesmee," she exhaled as she ran to me.

"Mom!"

I ran to her. We embraced, her cold skin trembling me to the bone; but I held on tight.

"I'm sorry we had to pull you out of school," she said, "But Edward just couldn't wait."

My father ran up to me and grabbed me tight.

"How could I?"

"Hi dad. It's good to see you."

Jacob joins the group. Usually he would give me my big brother hug. But that day, he just stood close by. His eyes, different, more intensely focused in my direction. I wouldn't even know how to begin to describe what it felt like, mostly confusion I guess.

"Hey Rey." Jacob said, "Noticed you made it back from school pretty quick."

"Weren't you going to trade that in for an economy car?" My dad said, looking towards my bike.

"I said I would dad if I crashed it again."

"Jacob. Please talk some sense into her."

Jacob just grinned at me. His eyes squinting in his always adorable manner.

"When has that ever worked?" He joked.

"Never." My mom quipped.

"Well..." I said. "Let's go inside. This cold is killing me."

We gathered around the TV inside. Mom and dad fixed their newest French discovery whilst I lounged on the couch; and Jacob took his usual spot in the recliner. Billy, in his usual manner, talked up a storm with my dad as he stared curiously at their culinary creation.

I turned to look at them. This is my perfect definition of family. The cheery conversation, the heartfelt talks until the middle of the night. But...if only my grandfather was there. My only secret I kept from them was the hours I would spend driving past my mom's old house and watching Charlie sit alone watching television. I wanted to know him so bad. I didn't want to bring it up again. It would be another night of yelling at my dad and Jacob coming into my room to comfort me. But I could see him there, lounging by the wall with a beer in his hand asking Bella how Dr. Cullen was doing and if Alice was settling in alright with Jasper in Seattle.

I just stare while they continue pretending. Jacob nudges me leg.

"Rey, you're thinking too much again."

Mom turns around.

"Are you alright hon?" She asks.

"I'm fine mom." I said. "Just wondering if it's supposed to smell like that."

"Yes, it does!" She gasps.

"You're not the one that has to eat it." Jacob smirked.

She throws a mushroom at Jacob.

"But seriously mom, it smells horrible." I say.

Billy looks at me curiously. "Are you kidding Rey, I can't wait to eat it." .

"Yeah me too, "says Jacob, "Are you sure you're not coming down with something.

"I'm just pulling my mom's leg. It's my job." I laugh. But the smell was getting to me. It stung my nostrils. I had tried a little bit before and the very thought of it in my stomach made my blood boil. I sat up from the couch...dizzy.

"Actually...I might..." I sighed before falling onto the floor. All I can remember is Edward screaming Renesmee before I black out.

I wake up in my room, my billowy white comforter surrounding me. I can barely move. My body feels like it's on fire. What was happening to me? Edward and Bella are sitting by my side. Edward's face is pained, his mouth tight and pulling his muscles towards the front of his face. Bella softly rubs my back.

"What's happening? Am I changing?" I ask.

"Yes, Renesmee." Bella says, "But I'm afraid it's not that simple."

The night I dreaded, my transformation into a cold, paleface. Jacob just stormed back and forth in my room. Why would he be so angry? He knew this would happen.

I got out of bed. I wanted to comfort Jacob. I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Jacob, calm down. We knew this would happen right?" I say. But my hands start to tremble. "It's going to be alright." I start to cry. Jacob holds me.

"Bella, the not simple part is, you won't completely change." He says. "You will always be part human."

"What?" I cry. "I'll always be this age. I won't get older?"

"No." Bella says. She walks to me nervously. I hope she can see through my puffy eyes and running nose how it pained me to be torn into these worlds yet always separate.

"You will have your human qualities. But you will always be 17 years old." She says.

"So the Volturri. They will still not want me because I'm not completely vampire. But I won't be able to be human, to make friends." I cry. "Why do I have this life? Why was it so important for me to be here?"

Edward goes to me. "Don't say that Renesmee. I can't imagine a world without you."

Jacob sighs. "Me too."

I rest my head on Jacob's chest. I knew he would always be there for me. I guess it was comforting. But what kind of life could that be for him? I just wanted to be on my own.

"Just, let me." I said. "Just let me go outside and breathe some fresh air."

I stumble out of the room. I go to the living room. The only possible escape, I see, is to leave this life forever. I will be a loner for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll be an aimless avenger helping different communities around the country. I know I won't be able to outrun my father, so I'd just have to go really fast on my bike.

"Renesmee, stop." I hear Jacob cry. But I don't care. He would be the only thing I would miss. But just as my humanity had been torn from me I wouldn't have the same for Jacob.

The bike roared beneath me and I saw Edward start to run towards me. I blazed down the road, feeling nothing but my sorrow and determination. 70 miles per hour, still Forks. 80 miles per hour, the edge was nearing. 90...lights and sirens behind me...I was caught.

I turn off my bike and heard slow footsteps behind me. I know Bella and Edward would not be there to greet the officer. How could they explain their existence? I could outrun him. But I'd waste too much gas, not enough to lose my father.

"Mam." The voice groaned. "Could I see you license and registration?"

I grab my fake credentials and turn towards the officer. "Why, yes." I say coolly. I look up. My shock apparent on my face. It's Charlie. It's my grandfather. The one man I had been waiting to see my entire life had just pulled me over for speeding. I wanted to hug him, tell him who I was. What would be stopping me?

"Do you know how fast you were going?" He queried.

"75." I said. I knew I was going faster.

Charlie laughed. "Of course. And I guess it's just your speedometer being faulty."

"It has been a little off recently officer. I'm always trying to adjust my speed."

I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he was struck by my appearance. I was almost the picture image of Bella; but I had a fiery disposition bestowed upon me by my passionate father. I'd hope he guess.

"You look a lot like someone I know." He said.

"I don't know how. I'm not related to anybody here." I said.

"You're that girl who lives over at the Black's, right?" He said. "Billy never brings you over."

"Oh, yeah. They know my parents." I said coolly.

"Well, I would give you a ticket. But...how about I make sure Billy gets you a safer ride?" He said.

I laughed. "You and my dad would get along perfectly."

Charlie waited with me while Billy and Jacob drove to meet me. I promised Charlie I wouldn't be driving anymore until I got a new car...and a license. I told him about life at the Black house...sans the werewolves and fights with vampires. How could my mother leave him? He seemed to be one of the most warm, sincere persons I have ever met.

Jacob and Billy pulled up in their old black truck. Billy stayed in the truck while Jacob went out to scold me and talk to Charlie.

"Hey Mr. Swan." Jacob beamed. "Seems like Rey's gotten herself in some trouble."

Charlie smiled. I was relieved by some light heartedness before the storm looming ahead.

"If you boys kept more of an eye on her maybe I wouldn't have to stop her for going almost 100 miles an hour in a 45." He said. I shrugged in embarrassment. Jacob looks at me with bewilderment.

"It won't happen again Charlie. I promise." Jacob said. "The bike gets sold tomorrow morning."

"Great." I thought to myself, "Looks like I could be stuck in Forks forever."

Jacob put the bike in the bed of my truck and I climbed in next to Billy. Billy gave me a serious stare. I looked back at him.

"I know...I know." I sighed.

"Then start acting like it." He snipped. Boy...I was in trouble.

The ride home was silent. I knew Jacob was furious at me. We got back to the house and Edward was stomping around the front yard. I got out of the truck. Bella walked up to me angrily.

"What were you thinking Renesmee? You just passed out and..." She couldn't get the words out of her mouth. She stormed back inside. Dad continued his furious pace.

"Dad." I stuttered.

"Don't even talk to me right now Rey." He said.

I looked back at Jacob. He gave me a sympathetic look; but it didn't let me get away with much. I knew how much I risked. If Charlie wouldn't have stopped me a Volturri could have swept in and gotten ridden of my pesky existence. I stood in the front yard and stared at the ground.

"Could you help Rey?" Jacob asked. I ran to the truck and got Billy's things.

"I'm sorry Billy." I said.

Billy didn't say anything as I helped him back to the house. The uneasiness intensified. We got to the front door. Billy looked back at me.

"Maybe Rey, you just need to be patient." He said.

Once he was indoors I walked back outside. Jacob sat against the truck. Billy was right. There was time...an eternity. What use was it to run? What would I be running from? I just felt like such a burden. Everyone would have to spend their lives protecting me. I sat next to Jacob.

"I'm sorry Jacob." I said. "I'm sorry I did that to you."

"What would I do if something happened to you Rey? How could I live with that?" He said.

"And all I thought about was protecting you, protecting my family." I said. "If I were gone you'd be able to live normal lives."

"Me, the werewolf and your parents the vampires living normal lives?" He said. "An immortal human daughter cannot expect normality."

I laughed. I looked at Jacob. Something about him was changing. Before he was just a protector. But now....I kept stopping myself from staring at his warm skin, the immensity of his body. Though I'd never admit it, I thought about him most of the time. It felt wrong. I had tried to date, but it was useless. Either they didn't match up to Jacob's standards or they were too afraid of what Jacob would do to them. Then I caught myself again, staring at him. Jacob looked at me. He noticed! I quickly turned away and started to walk towards the house.

"Well." I said. "I better face the firing squad."

As I was heading to the house I turned around to look to Jacob. His gaze was searing. That was an issue I'd handle later.

Inside the house things weren't so cheery. Bella was sitting next to Edward. He had his head in his hands.

"Hey." I said. They didn't look at me.

"I know I acted terribly. I shouldn't have done that. Not only did I risk hurting myself I risked your safety as well." I stated, solemnly. I sat down next to Bella. "But that moment...realizing I was never to change; and that we'd be running forever. I couldn't see myself doing that to anyone."

Edward looked up at me. His eyes beaming.

"You're our only child. And to see you leave us..." He sighed.

Bella looked at me more sympathetically.

"We know the burden that has been placed on you Renesmee. And we are ready to do anything for your happiness." She said.

"Then let me know my grandfather." I said. "I know it can't be for that long. But let me stay. Don't take me away to stay hidden with you."

Edward stood up.

"You think that's what we wanted?" He said. " We want you to be free. But any out of hand movement. Even a simple article with your name it could have them coming for you."

"Or a police report." Bella said.

"You haven't seen him. You haven't seen the way he stares into the TV set." I said. "I know he's lonely. And I don't see why I could just become friends with him....maybe, just for five years."

"You've been watching him!" Edward yelled. "Why?"

Bella laid her head on my shoulder.

"Don't you miss him mother?" I asked.

"Everyday Renesmee." She said. Edward sat down next to us again.

"We've been thinking. And though it makes us upset; we want you to stay." Edward said. "And now that you've met Charlie it seems inevitable..."

"Thank you." I said.

Jacob walked in the house.

"So is she staying or what?" He asked.

"Yes." Edward said.

"Good." Jacob smiled then walked to his room. Something in me told me I wouldn't mind a little more time with him.

Edward and Bella stayed until I finished my transformation. At night my body seethed with heat. I screamed with the pain. It seemed new energy was pulsing through my body, trying to make me explode. Billy would try his chants to sooth me but it was no use; the change would be relentless. Bella stayed by my side every night. She held me as my body shook with pain. Edward stayed near the phone, ready to call Carlyle at the nearest sign of tragedy.

Jacob begged me to eat; but I couldn't, not even for him. Each morning they would have to change the sheets because my sweat had soaked them through. The new, eternal blood was taking over. It was two weeks of agony.

Finally, the worst of it came the last night. I felt like my lungs were full of fire. I asked Bella to open the windows. Then, the blood came. It was hot, sticky and a dark purple. Bella called for Edward. I could hear him speaking with Carlyle. It wouldn't stop. I felt the air getting thinner.

"No, Renesmee, get it out! You'll suffocate. Breathe through your nose." She said.

But I wasn't breathing. I tried to cough it out. There was a huge lump that wouldn't move. Bella stuck her fingers down my throat. I fought the urge to clamp down on them. I felt as if I was a wild beast. But it loosened and came out. All of it gone. All new now. I took in a deep breath. My lungs seized the air for a while then began a barely noticeable thump. The room around me seemed so distinct. The new blood that had left with the old simply faded from around my mouth.

Bella hugged me. "Oh Rey. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine now mom. I'm fine." I said.

She helped me change. I didn't want to change into my usual clothes. I decided to wear some of the clothes she actually bought for me. I went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face...pale, impossibly more handsome than it had been before. And I could sense I looked older, more refined.

I walked out to the living room. Edward and Jacob were waiting patiently in the house. Billy was cooking up some food in the kitchen. Jacob turned around from the couch to look at me.

"Renesmee." He said.

"Well." I said. "This is me...forever."

Edward walked to me and gave me the biggest hug of my life; and for the first time he didn't freeze me to the bone.

"My darling. You are so brave. I love you." He said.

"I want to take a walk." I said. "And this time, I promise, I won't be running away."

"Okay." Edward said.

I made my way outside of the house. The air around me seemed still. Time seemed slower. The breeze through the trees seemed not like a rustling but a symphony of sound. I was a part of it but removed at the same time.

I made my way into the forest. I couldn't even begin to imagine being a part from it. This entire world had changed. How could I part myself from it? At the most I would have 5 years. The hidden paths, the stoic trees, the air even--all had captured my heart in a way unimaginable. If only I could stay here forever, talking about life and the world with Jacob on one of our infamous long walks.

Jacob...the very idea of him made my heart swell. I didn't feel quite so ashamed now of my feelings. When I was little I remember running to Jacob's room in the night, afraid after a horrible dream. He would hug me. He would say, "Don't worry Renesmee. I'll always be there for you." It was the only promise I never wanted broken.

Then there was a rustle in the trees. I looked back. It was Edward.

"Dad, you scared me." I said.

"Sorry, thought you'd be used to it by now." He said. "Do you mind if I join?"

"No." I said. "I kind of wanted to talk to you about something."

We made our way through the woods.

"I want to show you something special." Edward said.

He took me down a less familiar path. Finally, we reached a clearing. It was The Meadow. The flowers were just starting to come out of the earth. Their smell was amazing.

"Unbelievable." I gasped. "I've tried forever to find it; but I could never..."

"I figured it would be an appropriate place to have the discussion." He said.

We walked through the field together.

"You know?" I said. "What I've been feeling for Jacob?"

"Maybe it would have taken me longer to guess those feelings would have come about if it weren't for you staring at him all the time." He smirked.

"I'm not really one for indiscretion." I chimed. "But I didn't think it was that obvious. But...now that I've changed. I don't mind it. Somehow I feel it was meant to happen."

"How can you not? You're Bella's daughter. There was no way you couldn't fall in love with him." He said. The word love rang through my ears. It was true. I was in love with him. When would I let Jacob know that? Maybe never...how embarrassing.

"Spending some more time in Forks seems a little better now." I joked. Edward put his arm around my shoulder. We would talk about the future, about when we would meet during the year and how my Aunt Alice would surely being stopping by more often with outlandish presents I couldn't refuse. It was dusk when we finally made it back. Bella was waiting by the car. They had to leave. It was another crucial meeting with more vampires. I hugged them both goodbye. I entered the house, two thoughts racing through my mind--when would I see them next? And...What in the hell would I do about Jacob?

Thankfully I was able to delay answering the latter question. Deer season kept the Black's' busy with car repairs. Too bad there wasn't a family of vampires keeping the population in check. But the temptation was still there. Watching Jacob shirtless, covered in grease caused more than the occasional slip up. Jacob and Billy quickly relegated me to household duties.

I abhorred staying in all day. The house was spotless during the day; then unbelievably dirtied by a literal pack of hounds. A couple wrenches left under the hood and I'm exiled to being a maid. I knew my hormones were off the charts. But Jacob was just as to blame for his slip-ups. I was sure...well, pretty sure...he "accidentally" snapped off the rear view mirror of a BMW when the owner told me I had pretty eyes. And he only took his shirt off when I was working with him that day.

Finally I managed to break the monotony when Billy caught the flu and basically kicked me out of the house.

"This isn't the '50s." He said. "Go! Go! Go! You don't have your bike; but drive that Hyundai as fast as you can...under the speed limit."

"65 it is." I joked. But really, what would I do? No job to keep me occupied and banned to limited conversation with the outside world. What to do?

Emily I thought. She was the only one who could get through my tough girl exterior and have me babbling about anything, which would usually end up with me getting picked on for the next week by the entire clan. The whole them knowing each other's thoughts really irked me, especially when I needed someone to confide in. My mother Bella was nice; but the waiting for so frustrating.

But if I couldn't tell Jacob in person he could know some other way. I could tell Emily and she would think about it, instantly telling him. I pulled up to her house. The smell of warm bread and jasmine flowing through the air filled my heart. Emily walked outside and the warm smile on her face made me more comfortable.

"Rey Rey! Hey!" She said. She walked up to me and gave me the biggest hug. "Deciding to visit huh? I haven't seen you in ages."

"I got kicked out of the house. Billy couldn't stand the guilt of having a woman cooking and cleaning in his house."

"I wish Sam would feel that more often." She laughed. "Come inside. I just invented this new tea; and you'll probably be the only person to try it."

"Tea sounds good." I sighed. "My mind needs to rest."

We walked inside. I loved her house. Someday I wished to have my own cozy shack to relax in after a hectic day. I sat down at the kitchen table and she got the tea.

"So, what's your mind worrying about that it needs the power of my almighty tea to calm it?" She said.

"Well..." I said. "I've just had this one thing on my mind all the time."

"What?" She queried. She sat next to me. I took a sip of the tea; it was strong, yet soothing.

"Earl Grey ain't got nothin' on this baby." She laughed.

"It is strong." I said.

"Well? What is it lady?" She asked.

"All the time...I have been thinking about..." I paused. "Jacob."

She smiled. Oh gosh, embarrassing. I was never keen on the whole love thing before. Bella read me Snow White and I would beg her to cut out the part with the prince at the end. I would say, " She should just stay with the dwarves and work all day." But something in me just drew me to Jacob. It was strong, jilting. Sometimes his words would shake me to the core; and I'd think about over and over again while I pretended to sleep. I felt so awkward now.

"It was bound to happen." She said. "But you should have just told him."

"I know. But considering I punched the first guy who asked me out, and Fred Filcher getting therapy after he asked me to the prom, I'm freaking out. I always thought I would be an independent warrior. But this love thing. I feel like I'm naked in front of an auditorium full of people."

"Love?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said. "I love him. I don't know if he feels the same. But I can't imagine feeling the same about anybody else.

She just stared at me. I looked back at her contemplatively.

"You're wondering what he's thinking aren't you?" She said.

"No, I mean...Gosh." I thumped my head on the table. Being love sick is horrible; made even worse by not knowing if you'll get the cure.

"I haven't heard anything yet. A lot of cheers from the bros though." She chimed. I sat there, silent. Then there was a rumble outside. I knew it was Jacob.

I walked outside. He got out of the truck. I slowly went to him.

"Can we take a walk?" He said.

"Yeah." I said.

We went into the woods. The air thicker than usual. We didn't say anything. The worst thoughts went through my head. I'm crazy. He only saw himself as a friend to me. He was mad at me for me being a coward.

A few moments later we stopped in the thick of the forest. It began to rain. He turned to me.

"Renesmee..."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You deserve it. But if you don't...if you don't feel."

He grabbed me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. The rain was coming down hard. I wrapped my arms around him. It felt like I was melting into him. He kissed me passionately and I returned with just as much ferocity. We stopped.

"Renesmee. You always have been and always will be the only person I love. I don't care how I found out. I just want you to stay as long as you can." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"You can't be here forever."

"Yes I can."

He held my face. "Stubborn as ever."

"I'd do anything if it meant we could be together."

We embraced again. The steam rising from him as we kissed in the rain. This was it. The future, a minor inconvenience to handle. My happiness unbelievable.

The next weeks were incredible. All the secrets were out and the overwhelming reaction was...well...everyone saying "finally" as Jacob put it. The only bad side seemed to be for Billy. He would always catch us saying sweet nothings to each other or sneaking kisses.

"Would you two stop it!" He'd moan. And we'd try to be civil about it. Though it was hard to contain. I'd try cooking in the kitchen; but he would hug me from behind and kiss my neck. Anytime we were working together in the shop I would always happen to need help with getting parts from the storage room; and we'd always end up spending 30 minutes making out and 2 minutes getting what we actually needed.

But the best part of my day was when Billy would go to sleep and we'd stay up late talking on the couch. I'd reveal my soul to him. He'd listen. Sometimes he would be brutally honest, but never without a great sincerity.

And I saw in him a great courage. He worked for his tribe. When the older people in the tribe couldn't get groceries he'd help them. And he pushed for legislation to increase funding for Native Americans schools. I was in awe for his passion for life and for the ones he loved. And to feel that love from him was surreal.

During one of our midnight talks I asked him the question I needed to know. We had the fire blazing. I lied in his arms. My mind couldn't get over what we said, about us spending as much time as we could together while we had the time. I sat up. I looked to him. He was asleep. Wimp.

"Hey." I said.

He opened his eyes.

"I was just having a really great dream." He said. "Are you opposed to candle wax?"

I punched him on the shoulder.

"Not the greatest introduction to what I want to say."

"A wolf can't help himself." He joked.

"I know that." I said. I kissed him. He lifted his head to me. His desire was growing. But I needed to talk to him about something a little less scandalous.

"What about this time thing Jacob? What are we going to do?" I asked. He looked at me with a pained look.

"I don't know. How could I ask you to hide? To only reappear when a new crop of citizens shows up and don't' know who you are." He said.

"It could work." I said. "I don't think that I could ever leave you here in Forks alone. I could hide. You won't age either while I'm still around."

"Stuck in the house, not being able to be a part of the world?" He said.

"Well go visit Bella and Edward. The crew will always be around. We'll make it work for us." I argued. I started to cry. I knew the perfect world wouldn't exist, where vampires and wolves could be out in the open about who they are and we wouldn't be feared or hounded. I wished there would be a world for us to be together.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me. I pressed myself into him. We just held each other as the fire faded down. In my mind, I tried to slow down time. If there could be any moment I'd want to last forever, it was this one.

* * *

Finally, Billy had enough of our hijinks. He planned a long fishing trip with the elders to "get some breathing room," as he put it. On the morning of the trip the house was incredibly busy. Emily had stopped by to stock the house with as much food as possible. Sam and his boys helped Billy with all of the equipment. I tried to keep up; but the house became so busy I decided to retreat into my room.

I was flipping through my photobook on my bed. There were some new pictures Jacob and I took since we had been dating. My favorite was the one of us posing in our grease monkey uniforms during a break at work. He had just given me the biggest noogie of my entire life. Quill had just stopped by with the newest gadget from Radio Shack. Right after the attack Quill said, "Smile you dorks!" I look at Jacob. He looks at me and smiles. Click. The best photo; right before I tackle Jacob.

A knock on my door breaks my focus from the photo. Emily walks in my room grinning. She has a black gift bag with violet tissue paper. A present? Sure a break from Billy's whining was a great event; but nothing to celebrate with a gift.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Well." Emily said. "Don't kill me."

"Oh God." I sighed. "What have you done?"

Emily checked the doorway. She shut my bedroom door tightly.

"Just open it." She said.

I carefully removed the tissue paper. Excitement soon turned to shock. As I removed the last piece of violet I could clearly see why Emily wanted privacy. At the bottom of the bag was a set of lacy black lingerie. I gasped.

"Emily!" I cried.

"I didn't want to assume anything. But since this is probably the first time you and Jacob will be spending alone time together..." Emily said. "You can have some fun."

I took the bra out of the bag. Wow! I hadn't done anything remotely sensual before in my life besides....Well, I hadn't gone all the way. I wasn't traditional. I wanted the experience. I didn't feel I had to wait if I loved the person. As long as it was safe and sincere...Wow...black lingerie. Then I realized. Jacob would know about this. Damn wolf ESP.

"He's going to..." I started to say...

"Trust me. He's been getting everybody riled up with what he's been thinking."

"Damn." I said. "Damn."

"It's part of the main reason Billy had to leave." Emily said. "Jacob tries to keep it quiet. But whenever you wear this one pair of jeans... Let's just say. Billy yells, 'Quiet!' And Sam says, 'See you in 5 minutes.'"

"What am I going to do?" I said. "I mean. I know what I want to do. But I've never..."

Emily just smiled. "Keep looking."

I took out the underwear. At the bottom there was oils, perfume...and protection. She sure did think of everything.

"Alright...I know Rey." She said. "Completely new territory. You just changed and now I brought you a bag full of the sexiest items one can find. But... I thought you wouldn't mind it coming from a friend. This is some stuff that will help you out when you're ready."

"I am." I said. "But...how do you make a move?"

"Seriously." She said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Well... I know, with me and Sam. It's best to be natural. It's best to be close. Touching is key. Go slow at first; but it never hurts to get in the moment." She said.

My thoughts started to go wild. Thank God Jacob couldn't read my thoughts right now. Emily started to laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"You are ready." She laughed. "I hope I helped you out. I know it's not the most comfortable conversation to have; but I figured you might have a heart attack if one of the guys, let alone one of your parents, tried to have a sex talk with you."

I gave Emily a hug.

"Thank you." I said. "I needed it."

"No problem babe." Emily laughed. I put all the racy items back in the bag and hid it under my bed. Emily grinned. "Good luck." She said.

I smiled. Emily left and I fell onto my bed. I don't know if I could look at anybody in that room. My blood was boiling. I was excited but scared at the same time. Oh gosh...

Jacob then barged into my room. I sat up really fast.

"Hey there." He said. "Billy's leaving."

"Oh" I said.

I got up and followed Jacob at the door. He looked back at me and smiled. What did he know? What has he been thinking? We walked outside and the boys were ready to leave. Billy waved us goodbye from the truck.

"Don't break anything." He said.

"Come on dad. You know this place we'll be immaculate when you get back." Jacob quipped.

"Rey..." Billy said.

"I'll make sure Jacob doesn't wreck the place." I laughed.

"Thanks Rey." Billy sighed. He hit the side of the truck and they were off. Emily and Sam left right after and waved us goodbye as they walked back to the house. It was just me...and Jacob. Oh boy...

* * *

We walked back inside. It was eerily silent since the crew had left. It was just me and Jacob.

"So..." I said. "Want to totally mow down on those sandwiches Emily gave us?"

"Sure." Jacob said. He walks off to his room. Was something wrong? There wasn't any irritation in his voice; but he seemed quiet...too quiet. I went to the fridge and started to get everything ready. I decided to set up a little quasi picnic set up in front of the fireplace. Blankets and pillows with tons of food on the coffee table.

Right as I got everything ready Jacob walked back in the room.

"Perfect timing." He said.

"Of course." I replied. I got up from the floor and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at me then sat down by the fireplace. What was he up to? I sat down with him.

The next hour was unbearable. He just kept staring into the fireplace and smiling at me. I tried to pick up the conversation.

"I hope they make it there alright. Heard there might be some rain."

"Yeah." He said.

"These sandwiches are amazing. I think we should just hire Emily to buy all of our groceries for us...and cook for us."

"Yeah." He said.

I decided after a while to just relax and eat. I was so hungry. We sat by the fireplace and almost ate all of the food Emily had brought over. Nothing much was said. I finally decided to lie down on the floor. I was tired and full of delicious food. I'm sure whatever Jacob had on his mind he would tell me later.

Jacob picked up the mess as I was swiftly drifting to sleep. When I woke up it was dark outside. I sat up. Jacob must have gone to bed. I decided to head to my room. I'd work on something. I couldn't possibly make myself sleep. Wide awake...great.

I got ready for bed. I was brushing my teeth when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I opened the door. It was Jacob with a bouquet of wildflowers.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I said. "Wait a second."

I went to the bathroom, spat out my toothpaste, and washed out my mouth. Crap. Romantic gesture and I have a toothbrush in my mouth. I quickly walked back to him.

"Sorry, you just caught me..." I said before Jacob grabbed me and kissed me. He was so urgent. My body was tingling.

"At a bad time." I finished.

"Nothing I'm not used to..." He joked.

I took the flowers. They smelled amazing. I held them to me.

"These are beautiful." I said. I placed them on my bed. "What's the special occasion?" I asked. Jacob put his arms around my waist.

"Well..." He sighed. "I arranged something."

I put my hand on his chest. We swayed together.

"What something?" I smiled.

"Something...very nice." He said. He kissed me.

"And warm..." He kissed me.

"And sensual..." He kissed me.

"Keep talking." I said.

"I just thought we could get a little closer tonight." He said. He looked at me intensely.

We kissed each other passionately. He pressed me up against my bedroom wall. His rock hard body against mine was agony. And with my change, this blood reacted so severely I felt I was just going to let go at any moment. But I restrained myself. I pushed him back.

" So, where is this something?" I asked.

He smiled. "My room."

"I'll meet you there." I said. He smiled. He gave me one last kiss before darting off. I shut the door and then dashed frantically to my bed. I grabbed my gift from Emily. This was it...

* * *

The lingerie felt amazing. I put the other items in a little red velvet satchel. I slipped my silk robe over the lingerie. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Va va voom." I thought to myself. "I look good."

I slowly opened my bedroom door. The hallway was lit with white candles. The flicking white light against the rich wooden corridor was intoxicating. So he was planning...

I knocked on his door. "Come in." He said. I slowly opened the door. The room was lined with candles. He stood there in just his jeans. I slowly walked towards him. He looked at me in amazement. I untied my robe and let it fall slowly off my shoulders. I heard him gulp.

"Renesmee..." He said. I pressed my lips to his and let my hands trace down his chest to his stomach. He moved his fingertips along my back. I walked towards the bed. He followed. I sat on the edge of the bed and he pushed me back. Him on top of me, this close, this...naked.

Over and over again he said my name. "Renesmee...Renesmee..." As he kissed my neck, my shoulders; as he touched my stomach, my legs..."I love you Jacob." I said. I wanted him to have all of me.

Then, in the middle of the bed, he touched me in that place. His warm hand there. I slipped off my underwear. Oh God...this was happening. I took off my bra. He stopped and stared at me. The air...thick. My body...on the edge. "Renesmee..." He said. He then lunged on me. He kissed my breasts. I writhed underneath him.

He kissed my stomach. It tickled. I couldn't stop from laughing. He looked, "What? Am I doing something wrong?" He asked.

"No...not at all. Just tickles a bit."

He smiled. He held my hand as he moved down lower. Softly he parted my legs. Then I felt him kissing my most private place. As his tongue flicked I felt myself on the edge. Then I felt his finger in me. My breathe became hurried. The soft flicker of the white light on the walls became more intense. Jacob pressed harder. I felt it building. He grabbed my hand tighter. My body felt like a ticking bomb. My chest is heaving. I breathe deep. Finally, I release.

I exhale. He kisses me. I want everything now. I want to go wild. I want to feel everything. I reach for his pants. Unzipping them I feel him groan. He kisses my neck. Eventually, they're off. I see all of him. The first time I had seen a man. I sit up and kiss him furiously. I wrap my legs around his waist and put my arm around his shoulders.

"Do you mind if I touch it?" I asked.

"Do you want to?"

"Of course."

I put my other hand around...him. He lets out a sigh. I go back and forth. His mouth is furiously kissing my breasts. He kisses my lips, my neck. I feel him getting harder. I go faster. "Oh god." He cries.

He tells me to stop. He looks at me. His deep brown eyes with a new light in them. We sat for a while. Then he said, "I want to feel all of you."

"It's okay." I said. "I want you."

We smile. He touches my face, brushing away my hair. "You're beyond everything." He said. "We'll always be together Renesmee. We'll make it work." I kiss him

"I love you Jacob"

"I love you Renesmee."

He lowers me slowly onto the bed. We kiss. I open up to him. He presses into me. Before we start he makes sure to put on protection. Then I feel him in me. It hurts a little at first. But he is gentle. It feels better. We go faster. This act, so simple, but so surreal. And for my first time I was so grateful it was someone I loved, trusted.

We grew more heated. I pushed myself against him. Our rhythm growing. The bed began to knock against the wall. All of him going into me. This feeling beyond ecstasy. He ravaged me. Finally, I heard him cry out. We collapsed against each other.

* * *

The following days we relaxed and enjoyed each other. The shop was officially closed for the meandering of young lovers. We took so many hikes through the forest. We walked along La Plush. The world felt as if it belonged to us for the first time. We could be together.

And the nights. The violet shadows surrounding us as we gave into each other. Then there would be the calm, just sleeping in the same bed. Every muscle in my body seemed to be gone...relaxed until completion as I slept. I'd wake up every morning to his dazzling, warm body. Sometimes we'd just lie there staring at each other, smiling. Unbelievable to think this could happen in such a cruel world.

But our merriment would soon end. There was a visitor to our home. I heard the knock on the door. I knew it was something to worry about.

I open the door. It's Alice.

"Alice!" I said. I hugged her. She quickly walks inside.

"Renesmee I have to talk to you." She cries.

"What is it? Has something happened to mom and dad?" I ask.

"No." She said. "It's the Volturri."

I sit down. I feel the blood drain from my fingertips. My nerves filled with a stinging yet deadened feeling. My breathe slows.

"Oh God."

"They've stopped by the house numerous times. They're looking for someone."

"Who?"

"You Renesmee."

The sick feeling fills into all of me. I start to cry. The time had finally come.

"I'm surprised." I say. "I'm surprised that they haven't stopped by here."

"Today. They're going to be here today." She said.

My body begins to shake. Jacob enters the room. He goes to me.

"What's wrong Rey?" He asks.

"You have to leave Jacob." I say.

"No. What's going on?"

"The Volturri. They're coming." Alice says.

"No!" Jacob says. "They are not coming onto our land. They are not taking her."

"Renesmee the Volturri are here to take you. They said that if you keep living amongst the humans that you will have to be....eliminated." She said.

Jacob walks outside. His anger is making him more likely to change.

"What do they want me to do?" I ask.

"They want you to stay in seclusion with them. At (Italian place) they would have you stay and work with them."

"What do you see Alice?" I ask.

"I see you. I see you dressed in a gown, your face pale with makeup. You're like a frightening doll sitting mournfully in the halls of the Volturri. Slowly..." She stops.

"What Alice?"

"You become a....a blank statue."

I hear howling in the distance. I know Jacob is gathering the pack. They won't take this without a fight. But the Volturri, they are too strong. I couldn't let Jacob get hurt. The pain in his howl was unbearable. I cried into Alice. She comforted me as much as she could.

What could be done? I knew Alice would be behind any decision I made. I wanted to be with Jacob forever. But...there would be no way that I would hurt him. I loved him too much to have his risk his life. We had to run. That was the only way. I stand up. Alice stands up to. She senses what needs to be done.

"We'll have to runaway now Alice." I say. "Before Jacob can gather the pack. Before the Volturri arrive."

Alice runs to the car. I follow. I see Jacob running towards me. I didn't grab anything. There wasn't enough time. I call out to Jacob.

"Don't follow me."

"Renesmee!"

"I love you!" I scream as Alice starts the car down the road. Jacob runs towards me. But the car is too fast. The Volturri would be hunting me down. They would not return to Forks. I was to become a ghost of the world. Running wild...


End file.
